THE (ST)RING

For the dating ladies out there…there are many who may be wondering: “Am I getting the string or the ring?”

Now sweetie, don’t be confused. When you are getting the “string” it means you are just being strung along. Of course, if you are getting the “ring” it means that the guy you are dating is dead serious with you – yay!

So...you may be thinking: “How would I know if I’m being strung along?”

I am no relationship or dating expert so I took it upon myself to reading different articles regarding this…erm…dilemma.

1. NO LABELS – This, of course, means he doesn’t want to give your so-called relationship a status. He usually refers to you as his “good friend” when introducing you or talking about you to other people. While there might be nothing wrong with that, it sure would be good to know if he is serious with what you have. He shouldn’t be afraid to call you his girlfriend or his woman. He would tell you directly that he wants a relationship. If he cringes or withdraws whenever this topic comes up, walk away. Do not be in denial.

2. HE IS NOT VERY COMFORTABLE BEING SEEN WITH YOU IN PUBLIC – If he sweet talks and butters you up in private, but very uncomfortable doing so in public, it means he just doesn’t care about you, period. Do not be confused. Save your energy.

3. HE IS ONLY AROUND WHEN HE WANTS TO BE – He has these long periods of absences. He just drops off the face of the earth one day and then suddenly… he is back, maybe even expecting things to pick up where you left off. Texts and chats with you again. Although at one point or another, he may have been REALLY busy. So basically, you might like to trust your gut on this. If this becomes a habit of his though…well, the answer is obvious.

4. TWO WORDS: MIND GAMES – For the human behavior, one definition is this: A largely conscious struggle for psychological one-upmanship, often employing passive–aggressive behavior to specifically demoralize or empower the thinking subject, making the aggressor look superior; also referred to as "power games" (Source: Wikipedia). In layman’s words, if he is making you crazy not knowing whether he is really into you or not, do not decode his actions and overthink because it just means 98% that he is not into you. Because if he is, he will tell you straight up and make it clear.

5. HE SEEMS INTERESTED IN YOU AGAIN WHEN HE SEES “COMPETITION” – This guy thinks to himself that he’s got you wrapped around his fingers and becomes complacent...until he sees another guy sweet talking or flirting with you. Suddenly, he’s interested in you again. And when that other guy becomes interested in somebody else, he’s missing in action again. Oh yes, this is the reality - he just likes to keep you handy,you are a place holder, an after-thought, a date du jour or a for-the-moment companion.

To summarize, when a guy is serious with you, he will grow a pair and be man enough not to make excuses to be with you. Yes, he might tell you lots of great things but he’ll still have a lot of excuses about not being ready right now. He just does not want you the way you want him. You don’t want to be in an “on today, off tomorrow” relationship do you? Do not settle for less and stop wasting time on these types of people. Save time and save your energy. There are lots of fishes in the ocean as they say. Go and test the waters.

Do not settle for less because you are worth more than that. Stop feeling hurt every time he treats you this way. It is really unhealthy.

It is easy to tell oneself that things are fine and just ignore what is going on. This is plain denial. And this does not change anything – it just prolongs it.

Cut the friggin’ string and run. FAST.