ANOPHELOSIS

(written 08/17/2006)

ANOPHELOSIS: A morbid state brought about by extreme frustration.
As part of life’s vicious cycle, we have to go through several (or at least some – well, lucky you!) ordeals and pains and of course, it would depend on us how to get a grip of ourselves when we are about to give in and perhaps lose the slightest bit of sanity left within us… Ergo, we experience anophelosis. Hmmm…exactly…

These past few weeks, I go to work later than usual (meaning mas nala-late ako) and as much as I want to come in earlier, I couldn’t muster enough physical and mental prowess to do so…Of course, there are REALLY some days when inevitable things happen (such as the water tank breaking down and having to fetch H2O a few houses away from ours; OR waking up with an atrocious headache just because I really find it difficult to sleep as early as I want to, in other words, I’m suffering from pseudo-insomnia; OR having to run an errand for people because you have to and deep inside you know you’re still a “people person…” hey.. I can go on and on here…trust me, my reasons are legit…). Anyhow, some friends psychoanalyze me in a not-so-Freudian kind of way and I guess, a bit of their analyses has a ring of truth to it…according to them, I am just inflicted with the “burn-out syndrome” which means “the-phase-of-our-existence-wherein-we-are-incapable-of-functioning-usefully disorder.” (Sometimes, being the ‘emotera’ that I am, I convince myself, and everybody else, that I’m suffering from emotional malaise…)

What I’m blabbing about is really this…life sucks sometimes and not all of us possess the capability of being calm when we feel like all we want to do is rave and rant like madmen or beat the crap out of each other…naturally, we can always choose to either stay like this for a long time or slowly try to grasp and cope with the things that made us “temporarily insane” and go on with our existentiality…yes, life sucks and reality bites (and occasionally has claws too), but really now, we don’t have to be so misanthropic about it…I mean, hey, I believe that each individual has his own karmic design and this thing called karma really exists (which, by the way, is just lurking in the shadows or peering over our shoulders)…

I guess what I’m saying is that we must never lose faith in the greater good… Just putting in my two cents… (and I hope I made sense..*sigh*)